On this day I was born in the boring suburbs of Perth, Western Australia. The suburbs are good when you're young because the air is clean and it's safe apart from the funky insects.

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This was the year I started school and started making friends, and making fun of them. In all the school photos i've got a cheesy grin on my face.

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I appeared in the christmas school play. My parents videotaped it and it still makes me laugh every time I watch it. We were all dressed up in a nativity theme The play was a disaster, none of the kids had a clue about what they should do, turning around in circles and losing parts of their makeshift plastic costumes. One kid started crying, it's pure comedy.

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The month of the schoolyear's farewell show. This time it's the parents who were crying. Most of the kids were happy because school was ending but I thought it was a lame way of announcing it. They had a soppy song which we were forced to sing to, the girls enjoyed it more than the boys. I hated it and it will remain a stain on my upbringing.

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The best summer of my life! So far, as better ones would come. With my family we go on holiday to the North East, a land of great wonders. In my opinion Australia is split between East and West, and there's nothing worth seeing in the West. The East is where it's all at.

Anyway, i've always had an interest in animals, especially the weird ones, and North Eastern Australia is full of em because they've got the jungle up there. I'll not my experiences in the dossier...

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